from mommi ras to ashanti woman

October 16th 2006

Sorry it has taken me so long to touch base…I ran out of time on my internet account and had to send some1 to town to post more time also...i have just been livin…I guess this means that I am somewhat getting used to life here….. here time can go so slow and then so fast, how is that possible at the same time? It has already been 1 month and I have 9 more. Adom and I have been tryin so much local food that it is insane! He doesn’t want to admit that he likes it but I think that he is starting to dig the banku a little and he seems to always ask for rice. So far one of my most treasured moments has been venturing out alone (I mean just me and Adom) and going to Osu to meet a friend for lunch at a nice little spot called Frankies. It was cool I felt like I was on my own time and I could do my own thing. I wasn’t with any of my local friends. I haggled with the vendors ON MY OWN and I decided to buy Adom a soccer ball, which was demolished by some local boys with flip flops on the next day! I decided not to buy Adom a Ghana shirt that was way overpriced at about 100,000 cedis. I’ll shop around and get a couple eventually – no need to rush. I got a cover for my cell phone and I got the sweetest pair of sandals - my friend Veena (Fulbrighter) and I talked him down from 85,000 cedis to 45,000 I thought this was wonderful considering they are leather sandals with beautiful beads on them. Speaking of beautiful I have been feeling so lately. Surprisingly my hips don’t feel too big nor does my backside. I don’t feel grossly overweight, even as a dancer. I feel pretty good on most days about how I look.

I am addressing my fears. I have realized that I have picked up some fears because of things that have happened in my life……after reading some of my journal entries from over a year ago and looking at some pics and video clips of me dancing I realized that I have been cheating myself. I have been dancing and living through fear…not brave enough to show my full potential …isn’t that funny? here I am in Ghana on a Fulbright Fellowship and still feeling fear and feeling inadequate. I realized that I was hiding myself and being shy and I decided NO WAY!! I decided that I wanted to get the full benefit of this experience so I decided to cut my hair…this may not make sense to most but I was hiding behind my hair….soooooooo i read, I prayed and I thought and I got up and cut all 116 locs off…all by myself, I didn’t tell any1 b4 hand or afterwards – I just did it – it had to be this way- almost 5 years of growth; I started cutting at 11:36pm and I stopped at 12:15am from Oct 14 to Oct 15 Sat to Sun, then I wrote in my journal

OCT 14 11:36 PM
CUT MY LOCS
REMOVE FEAR
TRUST GOD
LET NOTHING BUT
TRUTH SHOW

I STARTED WITH 129 LOCS
ENDED WITH 116

When I started my locs I did so because I wanted to go through a process of letting go and trusting that everything would be ok…especially considering things that I was going through in my life a the time - so I let go of my hair and tried to take my hands off as much and stopped trying to control the outcome of how my hair looked as much while at the same time trusting God that everything would be ok…it has definitely been a process and now I remove my hair to remove fear….when I dance I no longer want to be afraid to dance FULL OUT and free and now I cant hide behind anything…all of my hair is gone so nothing but the truth remains… I am forcing myself to be brave

The next day (Sunday) I went to a local barber shop and got it all cleaned up for 10,000 cedis…and when I say short I mean only the shape of my head really shows with VERY LITTLE HAIR AT THE TOP- not even $2 the barber used clippers and a new razor to cut my hair…

Its been somewhat frustrating because the people around me don’t really understand why I cut my hair and honestly I don’t expect them to… since they didn’t really understand my locs to begin with..ahh well naturally so and expected. All my rasta friends are trippin…These decisions are truly FOR ME SPIRITUALLY and so all of this comes with the territory

Eddie gave me the nick-name of mommi ras and since he is a rasta he was somewhat devastated when I cut my hair but now he says I look like an ASHANTI WOMAN

The joke is I thought that by cutting my hair I would receive less attention here but it hasn’t worked ;-) instead they seem more forward




Today I went and got my eyebrows arched by threading (Venna told me about an Indian woman who does it) I wanted to go alone. On the way I stopped at a bookstore and got Adom some study books for his tutor to use…by the way Adom gave himself a new nick-name “Lil Cool Blue” he also wants to keep Ohenne as well

My eyebrows cost 15,000 cedis and should last 20 days she said the threading pulls it from the root so it takes longer to grow back … I really like it and it didn’t even hurt. Next time I may get a facial…I think I may have found a way to pamper myself.

On Sunday I taught class to the dance group here and on tomorrow I begin setting a piece. I decided to begin with a solo and then maybe add other dancers. We will see this is where my new braveness and courage comes in. I am so excited and nervous at the same time. What a wonderfully crazy feeling.

I promise to write more and please forgive my brief hiatus…I am about to finish my lunch of pineapple and plantain chips. I’m eating light because last night my stomach was very upset so I had to take a cipro this morning and I am feeling better. I’m still not sure if it was the food I ate last night or the bag of water I drank…not sure if I trust those little bags yet…my local friends tell me that not all of them clean the water properly ….at any rate this is … Ashanti Woman signing out….